Skip to main content

Are stars already sand on Blackpool Beach?

A year ago today, we sadly saw that Baby Jack's heartbeat was gone and discovered that we had lost our third baby at 6 months. I was then and still am now totally devasted, but I am finding my way through the dark days and teaching myself to look at all the wonderful things around me. Most of all I am cherishing what I do have: days filled with the love, laughter, tears and happiness that I share with my beautiful children and incredible children.

I think the recipe for happiness has something to do with loving what you have, living for the moment and doing whatever it is you need to keep the clouds from covering your sun. Today I wore my turquoise wellies to Sainsbury's just because they are shiny and I collected some smooth stones from the beach at Whitstable.


The other day when I was reading Charlie's bedtime story, he noticed I was wearing the memory bracelet I made for Jack and asked if we could look for our star angel. I always point out the brightest star in the sky as Jack and it reminded me of a question from my school days;

Are stars already sand on Blackpool Beach?

I believe it has something to do with the big bang theory and that we may all be made from stardust because carbon matter is produced by supernova explosion. I vaguely remember learning how some light from stars can take so long to travel to earth that the star may have already died, exploded before it reaches here and it's stardust could therefore actually be in essence on this planet. I think that then combined with the theory that there are more stars in the Universe than there are grains of sand on a beach or all the beaches (I can't quite remember which), my dear friend Viki and I were intrigued by whether stars we see in the sky could have exploded generations before we see their light and that their stardust, elements or matter had already formed sand on Blackpool Beach. I suppose the comparison could also be made with stones on shingle beaches. I quite like thinking of today's collection of smooth stones being stardust, it makes them seem even more special.



Another thing that made me smile was that despite the frost, there were still enough nastursiums to make a bouquet from the garden for Jack. If the me from today could go back in time and meet the me from one year ago, the advice I would give is to allow time, it is the only healer sometimes. I hope that the me from next year will have even greater wisdom and that the sadness and pain will fade. My life changed forever a year ago and I know that I will have to fight the depression that has caused but I have alot and for that I am truly grateful.

Comments

  1. Lisa Wood4 November 2010 at 06:21

    So moving Susie, brought tears to my eyes reading this. Camron was just the other day talking about how we were created and im going to share this with him. He will be fasinated . I think i may to goto the beach and collect stones, maybe come back and paint them. Our children are everything to us and for sure yours have the greatest mum ive ever known in my life ! xxxx take good care Susie....my heart is with you xxxxxx

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Thank you very much for taking the time to make a comment, it really brightens my day and everyone loves getting a little bit of feedback. If you are viewing my blog through Facebook on an iPad, then you need to open my blog in Safari to comment....such a pain but I can't work out any other way to do it

Popular posts from this blog

Ridgeway Cottage Anyhow - How to add social media buttons to your blog

I know not everyone is excited by learning code and techie stuff but in my quest for website geekiness, this post is just one step closer. For all my lovely friends and family who do not care one hoot about what goes on behind the scenes of Ridgeway Cottage, here are some lovely photos of October life. (Those who do want to know about the buttons, social media and coding, please read on.) Social Media Buttons Anyhow You will need. Your blog open in layout  The URL of your social media places you want to link to Some lovely pictures of social media icons that you would like to use as your buttons A photobucket account which you can easily open here A small understanding of how the coding works  A rather large smattering of patience unless you are super clever at all techie stuff   What social media icons are you going to use? You can find some very lovely ones by searching on the internet or there are some here, here ,  or here . I liked these...
5 comments
Read more

How do you feel about fireworks?

Happy 2019!  Fireworks over Alexandra Palace - this is what fireworks meant to me for years I appear to have taken a break from blogging, not because I wanted to but because I couldn’t find the words. I wonder if writers’ block is just a fancy way of saying, “I lost all of my words.” That’s what happened to me, I lost nearly every single one of them for quite a lot of the time for over a year. There were of course a million thoughts in my head, going at a million miles an hour but they were all caught in a massive tangle of scribble. There was no way of logically stringing them out into sentences.  Scribble it Away  That’s how I feel about fireworks. However it might be more accurate to describe the millions of trapped unspoken thoughts as a blaze in a firework factory. The easiest response to explain is the sensory overload. They are pretty, there’s no doubt about that, but they are so noisy and triggering for my hypersensitive sense of smell. I can feel the crackle of f...
Post a Comment
Read more

Firsts

It's been a day of firsts. I have been feeling a little bit under the weather and after being sick this morning I did not want to sit in the car for hours. So my husband and children have gone to visit my family without me. This did make me so sad but as there was nothing I could do about it, I thought I would just do my best to enjoy having time completely to myself. I have never been alone in the house over night. People have been away and I've been away but I have never had the whole place to myself for the whole night. I've finally got to grips with instagram and how the liking and the following and the whole thing works. I even got my first ever like which was so exciting. I'm guessing it's pretty addictive. Who should I follow? Where do I find people who love the same things as me? I think I still need a bit of help. And for the first time ever, an ironing board has been the object of my desire. I don't think that it even crossed my mind that ironing...
6 comments
Read more