Friday, 4 November 2011

Gone in a flash

I have finally reached the time in my life that my teacher warned me about all those years ago in a humanities lesson. As a teenage girl, I will readily admit that a larger percentage of my time in lesson was spent talking than listening, but there are somethings I remember so clearly. This teacher told us that our teenage years were not the time of our life, as we had too much to worry about, had too much work to do for our qualifications, no money or freedom from the restrictions imposed on us by our teachers and parents. The time of our lives, in his opinion, would be once we had jobs, left home and had disposable income before responsibilities, bills and worries tied us down and life became complicated.

Those days of having nothing much more to consider than what new outfit to spend my hard earned cash on were gone in a flash and the older I get the more complex my life becomes. For years I loved fireworks, it was the start of the party season, bonfire night ran into friends' birthdays and into my own birthday, Christmas and New Year. Nothing fizzes, sparkles and bangs like a firework and although I still can't resist anything sparkly, life has tarnished bonfire night with sadness. Sometimes sights, sounds and smells can take you right back to beautifully happy memories as well as nightmares and the worst moments of your life. For those whoever lost a loved one, certain anniversaries of moments can be like opening Pandora's box of memories, which is how I now feel about fireworks. I hope that time will ease the pain and I know that it will but for now, on Jack's night, I just want to stay at home with my thoughts. Fireworks are gone in a flash, the simplicity of youth is brief and the spectacular explosions lighting up the November night sky, will forever remind me of the darkest days of my life.

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